Panic

William H. Macy is not a hit man.

I’m sorry, I just don’t buy it.

That makes Panic troublesome, as to fully accept this movie, you need to accept that William H. Macy is a hit man. And I can’t do it. That’s not to say he doesn’t give it his best shot, and it’s not to say he doesn’t put on a pretty decent performance, but I don’t find him intimidating enough or cold-blooded enough to be a hit man. Maybe this is because the movie goes out of its way not to show him actually being a hit man. You see, Macy no longer wants to be a hit man. He is having a midlife crisis and wants out of the family business. But the movie is so concerned showing that Macy wants to stop being a hit man, that they only show him being a hit man in two quick scenes. So, I’m sorry, but I don’t accept the central premise.

Unfortunately, the rest of the movie isn’t much better. Pretty much everything with Neve Campbell is boring and could be excised very easily, and in fact I almost wish her role had been excised to answer some of the movie’s other, more interesting questions. How did the matriarch of the family get them involved in the business? Was Macy’s wife really a hooker or did she just dress like one for the purposes of that one scene? Why did John Ritter not have a meatier part? Why is David Dorfman such a creepy little kid?

Unanswered questions all the way…